Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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