there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
