apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
