we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
