I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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