Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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