Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
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