talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
