3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
