Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
sarcasm needs its own font
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
