i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
