just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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