Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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