we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
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thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
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I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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