We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
