Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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