I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
