roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
