We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
