Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
