In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
