i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
