I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
