i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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