I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
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