Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
