So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
