I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
