chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
