I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize