I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
