Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
