well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
