whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
