For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Randomize
