Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I will be naked everywhere
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
