i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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