Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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