Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
