Plan B is the new Plan A
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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