Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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