I think i sorta joined a cult last night
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
