So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize