I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
