I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
