you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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