If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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