Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize