idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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