Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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