I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
