She is in my trunk
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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