I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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