I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize