i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
