I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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