she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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